he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
