there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
