Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize