I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
