you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
