Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
