So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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