At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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