so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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