So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
