just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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