If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
