Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
