you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What a dumb baby whore.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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