big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
