Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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