do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
