My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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