She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
