she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
