This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
