i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
third nipple confirmed
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
