i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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