Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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