You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
