As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
