At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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