You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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