laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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