omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize