I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
someone owes me an orgasm
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I forgot wine drunk hurts
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
