Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
