I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
