I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
