She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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