butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
