Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Porn is love you can see.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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