Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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