I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
