Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
