med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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