Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
