I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
