Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
