I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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