My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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