well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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