awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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