You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We had sex on a dog bed..
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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