a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize