My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
