i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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