so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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