i may or may not be watching the land before time
that's an acceptable place to lick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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