Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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