I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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