Pregnant stripper...not hot.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
