So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
