dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Boobs speak an international language.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Randomize
