what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the condom got lost in my hair
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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