He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
